Scariest Thing Ever

I have discovered the scariest thing ever. Take this short quiz to see if you have what it takes to write a horror film script that will instantly make you millions of dollars.


Pop quiz:

1. What is the scariest thing ever?
a. Identity theft
b. Nuclear war
c. Clowns

2. What is most likely to kill you?
a. Cancer
b. Gun
c. Possessed devil child who lives in your mirror

3. What thoughts keep you awake at night?

a. Visions of rainforest deforestation
b. Visions of a pale child singing nursery rhymes without smiling


4. What would be the creepiest thing to have you staring you in the eyes when you wake up?
a. Chucky doll
b. Sid’s doll head with spider legs (from Toy Story)
c. Dora the Explorer
d. ____________ (write-in answer)

5. What would be the worst thing to be locked in a dark room with?
a. Bernie Madoff
b. The demon inside Bernie Madoff
c. A marionette doll of Bernie Madoff

Answers:
1. C
2. C
3. B
4. D: You wake up and the Chucky doll is lying next to you, and Dora is staring him in the eyes.
5. Trick question: It’s all of them in the room with you and they are wearing birthday party hats.


Did you get them all right? If so, you have realized that kids and their kid paraphernalia is our country’s worst nightmare. I challenge you to think of anything scarier. That is why I won't be going to see Splice when it comes out this summer.